TwistedWits.com

Because All We Every Really Wanna Do Is Laugh

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-07-28

Jul.28, 2010 in One Liners View Comments
  • RT @Pearlydean: Light travels faster than sound so some people appear bright until you hear them speak #
  • RT @Pearlydean: Confucius Says…"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot" #
  • RT @Pearlydean: Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected? #
  • RT @BestAt: RT @Brain_Wash: Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don't know when. #
  • RT @BestAt: RT @AngelaHelga: I'm in such a good mood, even my sphincter is whistling. #
  • RT @BestAt: RT @jasonmustian: "Kidnapping" is a strong word. I prefer to think of it as "Surprise Adoption" #
  • Whew. What a day! Stick a fork in me, I am OW! OWWW! IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU IDIOT! OW OW OW OW TAKE IT OUT! #
  • RT @BestAt: RT @CroweJam: I think I have a Southern 6th sense. I see inbred people. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-07-21

Jul.21, 2010 in One Liners View Comments
  • He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more #
  • I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.. #
  • RT @funnyoneliners: After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast. #
  • RT @BestAt: RT @AristotlesGirl: F to the Y to the I ….You make me wanna H to the U to the R to the T you when you talk like this. #
  • RT @CroweJam: If your idea of a good time involves a 6-pack, corn dogs and a corpse, you might be a redneckophiliac. #
  • RT @BestAt: RT @Beerhaze: Larry King's wife has now reportedly moved on… to beef jerky. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-07-07

Jul.07, 2010 in One Liners View Comments
  • Wipe your mouth. There's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips. #
  • One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one. #
  • RT @GiggleFlower: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. #
  • RT @funnyoneliners: I need a credit card that can afford my lifestyle.RT @eugem #
  • RT @funnyoneliners: Now, I know that if she asks me what's on TV, it's dangerous to answer "dust". RT @EsseErre #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-30

Jun.30, 2010 in One Liners View Comments
  • RT @BestAt: RT @lafix: I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them I have a problem. #
  • RT @BestAt: RT @PyrBliss: I'm too good for a lot of things. Which is why I don't do anything. #
  • RT @talks_in_maths: Back off, or I'll use this butterfly to start a chain reaction leading to a terrifying alternate future. #
  • RT @BestAt: RT @linajk: Please don't be offended. You're captivating. But my narcolepsy can strike at any moment. #
  • Wow, HULU PLUS on Iphone / Ipad/ Ipod and coming to PS3 soon #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-23

Jun.23, 2010 in One Liners View Comments
  • I'm starting to look forward to assisted living. #
  • OH CRAP!!!!…I forgot to pick up my inner child from the daycare. #
  • So, I forgot to put an anti-static sheet in the dryer and now I'm afraid of my clothes. #
  • If I had a quarter for every time I said I had a nickel, I would have five times as much theoretical money #

Welcome 2 TwistedWits.com

Thanks for visiting. We are just now setting the site up and it will likely go thru alot of changes in the near future. We want to put up short jokes, one-liners, pictures, videos and anything that will make you laugh without having to read an entire article/story.

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